"I Stopped Talking to My Mom for 4 Months — Here's What It Taught Me"

I stopped talking to my mom for four months.

It started with something almost laughably small. I got rear-ended, and my car needed to go into the bodyshop.

My mom and I were on the phone working out where to take it, and she had a strong opinion about which shop. I disagreed, also strongly, and then I did what I have always done. I started looking for the middle ground, the compromise that would somehow be a win-win. It was not a dramatic blowup, but it escalated, and it got intense.

And right there, mid-sentence, I heard it so clearly. I have spent my whole life trying to make HER happy, believing that if I just negotiated well enough, I could win her over and finally live in peace. But in that same breath, I saw the truth I had been avoiding for decades: it was never a win-win. It was a lose-lose game I kept playing.

That moment sent me to therapy, and this time I went looking specifically for a somatic therapist. For nearly thirty years I had been neglecting my emotions, trusting that my logical mind would eventually think its way out of this. It never did. There was a whole part of me I had cut off, and it was costing me my wellbeing and shaping the way I built every relationship in my life.

When I committed to seeing that therapist, I knew I needed distance from my mom so the work would not be interrupted. So I emailed her and explained that I could not talk to her for a while, and I asked her to respect that. It was so hard, because I was afraid of hurting her feelings, which is exactly the fear that had run my whole life. But sending that email was the first step in honoring my own emotional needs instead of hers.

Tending to my mother's emotional needs has always been taxing, because she is demanding and her expectations rarely match my reality. I kept taking care of her feelings while abandoning my own. That is the wound I carried for so long, until I finally put in the work. I went to personal development trainings, attended women's workshops, did past life regressions, and had Akashic Records readings. What I discovered was how easily I dismissed the very parts of myself that were meant to make me feel safe, seen, and acknowledged, all because I had handed my mother all of my power.

We do not talk about the mother wound very often, maybe because we want to believe our mothers are doing the best they can. And mine was. I know she never did any of this to harm me. If anything, she has always tried to protect me, but in ways that worked to my own demise.

I am sharing this during Cancer season, when the energy turns toward motherhood, nurturing, and emotional roots. It is a season that invites us to tend to the places inside us that were never fully tended to, and it is never too late to begin.

If this resonates, I would love to hold space for you. An Akashic Records reading can be a powerful first step toward clarity and reconnecting with yourself.

Mimi